Trying to make it small in life

There is an unseen desire in all of us.

The desire to be a part of something big. To play a big part in this game of life so we are recognized, and loved by the world. So, our life stories can matter more than others or at least enough for us to look in the mirror and know, that we made something happen.

This desire turns into pressure and then soon it turns into a fear which further comes and goes as an anxiety reminder of how much more we still have to do, how much more we have to achieve.

We all are afraid that maybe we won’t be able to make it BIG in the world and that the world will never get to see our art, opinions, and dreams.

It’s this FEAR of wasting our lives away that pushes us to do more in the hope that if we do this, read that book, listen to that podcast, watch interviews of successful people then, maybe, just maybe, we will learn the ‘magic’ trick. That something will work and one day, our life story will matter.

We are trying too hard just to exist.

We think if we haven’t achieved something really BIG or if we don’t know the ONE grand purpose of our lives which someday in the future will be worthy of turning into headlines, then we should stay quiet, and small.

And somehow, it makes us feel inferior. Inferior to those whose life seems to be worth more than ours. Inferior to those whose names shine bright in big media headlines and who are traveling around the world, and those with major following on social media and people who are working towards exactly what they want and those who have a plan for their lives.

Isn’t this the reason why famous people are called ‘celebrities?’ It’s insane how we celebrate the mere existence of those who we have nothing to do with, who are not making this world a better place to live, and yet we love them. We perceive their lives to be worth living. We make their lives some sort of a legacy that we all must try to at least come closer to.

But it makes me want to ask ‘WHY?’

Why do we celebrate one kind of life over others? Why are we trying so hard to make something big out of our lives? And what if we just exist without trying so hard to justify our existence?

What if nothing big ever happens to our lives? What if we live a normal life - a normal day that starts with breakfast and coffee which, by the way, doesn’t look aesthetic because you have to go to work and then you do your work or study, come back home, and try to make the remaining few hours of your day as pleasant for yourself as possible?

What if instead of trying to make something grander out of our entire lives, we just try to make this day as good as it can be? What if we buy limited but good quality clothes for ourselves and wear them as much as we can do a random Wednesday evening so it can feel like a special occasion, like we are celebrating our lives?

And what if we sit in silence more instead of filling it with the noise of podcasts, and YouTube videos to learn something groundbreaking which, to be honest, doesn’t help anyone? What if we use these silent hours to sit by our balcony and watch the world where birds are flying high, and the sun sets in such a magical way that you realize, ‘I am this. I am a part of all this.’

What if instead of trying to make it big in the world, we try to make it small?

Small daily conscious efforts to make our lives feel better to ourselves. What if we don’t give a damn from now on about if our lives were worth it or that we don’t have what we should have achieved by this age as per the guidelines of the world and instead, we focus on ‘how can I make myself a little bit happier and comfortable today?’

Maybe, we learn to speak a new language, not to add it to our resume but so we can speak it to ourselves on a Tuesday evening while making French toast at home. Maybe, we learn to cook a new delicacy of our favorite country and try to make it without letting it define our learning potential as a human.

What if we let ourselves exist silently, quietly, without fear and existential anxiety?

To know that you don’t earn your right to be here every day. To know that you are not here to make something BIG happen but rather to enjoy everything that speaks to you.

To understand your life is not small and you are not inferior just because it doesn’t look a certain way, or you don’t have certain amount of money.

To realize, that you can exist like a bird. You can fly as highly as you want but always come back home. And one day when your time comes, you go as gently and lovingly as possible without wondering ‘if your life was worth it.’

In the end, if your life wasn’t worth it, you wouldn’t have been here.

PS: Let this be your reminder to enjoy something little today, and maybe, every day.


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