you too can

Because I reshaped the understanding of my experiences. You can too.

My history involved:

  • A violent childhood home.
  • A drunk mother and her boyfriends.
  • Living in a cold flooded slum with broken windows, rats and mold.
  • Being hunted and often beaten periodically by local gangs.
  • Being sexually abused from age 3 throughout my entire childhood.
  • Gaining an eating disorder due to keeping the big secret about uncle Paul.
  • Being kidnapped, put in the boot of a car. Fearing the worst.
  • Becoming morbidly obese - growing up to 512lb.
  • Surviving two episodes of heart failure.

The above is my past life. I entered adulthood fearful, insecure, aggressive, angry, confused and with very little trust for other humans.

I discovered something very important:

WE GAIN WISDOM FROM TRAUMA.

Every one of my experiences served to enrich my soul.

  1. Today I understand the true value of loyalty because I suffered serious betrayal.
  2. Today I understand the true value of mercy and compassion because I have experienced real cruelty.
  3. Today I understand the true value of mental wellbeing because I have experienced real depression.
  4. Today I understand the true value of generosity because I have experienced real selfishness.
  5. Today I understand the true value of freedom because I have experienced abduction.
  6. Today I understand the true value of decency and trust around children because I was a victim of sexual abuse.
  7. Today I understand the true value of basic privileges because I have experienced poverty.
  8. Today I understand the true value of acceptance because I have suffered real rejection.
  9. Today I understand the true value of goodness because I have suffered at the hands of bad people.
  10. Today I understand the true value of life because I have been very close to death.

My traumas did eventually send me down the path of self destruction as an addict.

However, I am now a 12 stepper and have been clean and sober since 2019. The 12 step process introduced me to the true me. That program is simply amazing. I highly recommend 12 step support groups for anyone wishing to turn their life around in the most effective satisfying manner. Check out my sponsors recovery channel here.

The Meaning Of Life

My experience has proven to me beyond all doubt that the meaning of this life is ‘mental well being’. My life is at its very best when I am contented, free of worry, greatful for my lot and truly enjoying my ‘now’. And so I work every day to preserve my mental well being. I do that by being the best version of me I possibly can be. You can do that too.

My advice for heading towards mental well being.

  1. Decide what truly matters in this life. Decide on your principles. The rules by which you WILL live, & use to guide you in everything you do.
  2. Forgive yourself by deciding you will be a good person from this day forward. Do not define yourself by who you were yesterday but rather by who you are today and who you intend to be tomorrow. The person you were in the past has gone.
  3. Do not distress yourself with imaginings. The past exists nowhere but inside your head. Stop imagining it. Stop distressing your nervous system with head movies.
  4. Do not distress yourself with imaginings of the future. Do whatever responsibility demands of you in the ‘now’, and the future takes care of itself. Accept the things you cannot change.
  5. Live in the present always with gratitude. * Happiness is an attitude born from gratitude* You can choose this. It is a choice. I urge you to choose appreciation of life. Look around you, appreciate everything that is good. Your family, nature, your little luxuries, your animals, the colours of flowers, the sunshine, the sparkle on the water, the stars, the smiling people!
  6. Monitor the mental wellbeing of others. Watch for discontent. When you spot it then work to remove it. You have power. Become the solution where possible. Donate practical help, emotional support, encouragement, be a positive influence. Celebrate achievements, successes and aspirations.
  7. Find the funny! Mental wellbeing is at its very best when we are laughing! Work to create laughter where possible! Keep life fun!
  8. Do the next right thing. Be careful in decision making. Make decisions that align with your core principles of goodness. When we do the next right thing we sleep well. We avoid self recriminations.
  9. Take self inventory. Assess your effect on others. Examine your words and your actions as you navigate life. We are not perfect despite our aspirations. All humans are defective. When you realise you may have effected someone's world with your unmindful words or actions then go to them ASAP and own that. Make amends. Your reputation is created by the opinions people have about you in your absence. Clear up your mess and people will not feel the urge to be negative about you to others. If you allow your words and actions to go unchecked then the conversations people have about you in your absence are likely to damage you. This is how bad karma happens. Because people work against people they dislike. So always remember; check your words, check your actions, make amends where required. Keep your reputation and integrity solid.
  10. Only believe information you recieve that you can absolutely confirm via your 5 senses. Lock out the misinformation from your brain. Keep your knowledge reliable. Avoid passing information on that you have not authenticated as true. Be a part of the solution. Remain faithful to truth. Evidence supports truth. Your 5 senses are your connection to reality.

I hope this helps you achieve a better experience of your existence.

Basil Simon

Musical life coach

Official Web site

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